vines by: malcontentowlcaretaker
by Nehszriah
Summary: There's something about the Doctor's continued presence at Coal Hill that makes the students seem a bit more giggly and mobile-dependent, so leave it to Miss Oswald to figure out why.


A/N: This came from a tumblr prompt that asked for the Twelfth Doctor as a famous Viner. I honestly don't see Twelve as a Viner (One, Four, Ten, and Eleven, but not Twelve), so I ended up with the following instead.

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vines by: malcontentowlcaretaker

Ever since Christmas, the Doctor had pretty much become a staple around Coal Hill School. He could often be found wandering about, sometimes with a janitor's brush and sometimes without, and often would have a couple students tagging along not far behind. While the rest of the staff was suspicious at first, a couple flashes of the psychic paper made them back down and allow the school's newest—and frankly gruffest—specialty social worker the privilege of mingling with their charges. Students' grades would occasionally go up, while the kids would delight in catching a glimpse of him. He would always be so _interesting_ , they claimed, and they all but revered Miss Oswald as the only one in the whole school who had him, the man that could not be summoned or told what to do, at her beck and call.

Though Miss Oswald, for all the power that she had over the Doctor, wasn't always well-aware of what was going on within the hallowed halls of the Shoreditch school. On days when the Doctor was haunting the grounds, there seemed to be a… how to put it… a sort of air that settled amongst the students. They giggled more, clumped in groups around phones more, and seemed to be in more of a blissful daze. It was very peculiar, to the point where some of her coworkers noticed. None of them were entirely sure how he was involved, but it was obvious that there was a distinct correlation.

Now the only thing was to discover _what_ it was that was keeping the adolescent population of Shoreditch so placated.

"Courtney, give it," Clara said, holding out her hand. The teen glanced up from her mobile indignantly.

"It's between classes, Miss! I'm not doing anything wrong!" she argued.

"You're watching something, and I'd like to know what it is… unless you don't think it's appropriate for school," Clara replied. Courtney sighed and passed her teacher the mobile—there was no arguing with a woman who had been to the moon, even if she had been right there alongside her.

When Clara saw what was playing on the screen, however, she was supremely surprised at what she saw. It was a Vine of the Doctor, running through the courtyard, arms flapping and gait loping, while six seconds of Yakety Sax provided background music.

"Courtney? What is this…?" she asked firmly. "You're not in trouble; I simply want to know."

"There's a bunch of us who share an account, and whenever the Doctor's hanging about, we take video of him when he's not looking," the teenager explained.

"…and how many have you taken?"

"Dozens, Miss. I think you'd like some of them." Courtney then snatched her mobile from Clara and brought up another Vine. This one was the Doctor playing guitar in the TARDIS, yet still using the janitor's brush leaning against the railing as a microphone. Another had him shouting her name and "pudding-brains" repeatedly in a DubStep fashion. A third was him fiddling around with his sonic sunglasses, appearing to be imitating some sort of greaser-type to any normal human being.

"So… 'malcontentowlcaretaker' is you guys, yeah?" Clara assumed. "I'm impressed—you've been turning him into a meme right under his nose."

"Poking fun at each other's no fun—we've been doing it since playgroup and some take it as bullying even when it's not. _Adults_ are fair game," Courtney smirked. "If you can't handle being a semi-famous Vine as an adult, then what are you?"

"The Doctor would say 'sensible'," Clara chuckled. She handed the mobile back and jerked her head backwards, down the corridor. "Go on, you; to class."

"Thanks, Miss. See you next period!" Courtney replied. She rushed to her next class, where she sat down amongst her friends, waiting for the bell to ring.

"Guys, we've got to be careful—Miss Oswald almost caught me."

"I knew that posting them while at school was dangerous…"

"No, no—I was on malcontentowlcaretaker and that's the only way I got out of it alive," she insisted. "We still have smolfierceteacherkitten under wraps."

"One of these days you're going to get us into _serious trouble_ , Woods," another student declared. "I both fear the day and look forward to it."


End file.
